Back to December
by ilovequinn11
Summary: As much as you had tried to block that painful memory, you still remembered it, and suddenly it was all clear. Now you remembered how you had gotten to this point... it was all because of that painful afternoon with Sam Evans.
1. Chapter 1

_**This is obviously AU, since in this story Sam never moved. Okay, so I'm a huge Fabrevans shipper, so this is pretty much where this came from, and I'm a huge Quinn fan and feel like pretty much everyone in her life beside Rachel has failed her. So I heard a rumor that there was a scene deleted from the episode New York where Quinn and Sam kissed again and Sam rejected her for Mercedes, so that is where the inspiration for this came from. Enjoy!**_

You stared in the mirror, fingers absentmindely running through your short pink hair. You had no idea how you had become this girl. You used to have everything. Now you had nothing. You used to be a beauty queen, now you were pretty much the exact opposite. You looked like trash, and your insides felt like it. You felt so numb.

You had gone back to Glee, but only because you couldn't handle Rachel bugging you anymore. Of course, you still spent most of your time with the Skanks. That was the only place you felt you belonged anymore. And the name was so true. You were a skank. You had short hair you had dyed pink, you wore a ton of makeup, you dressed in black clothes that revealed way too much skin... you were broken, torn up inside.

At first you couldn't remember how you had ended up this way, but then the memories began to come back.

_You had stayed back in the hotel while the rest of the kids had gone out, since you had a bit of a headache and couldn't stand to see Finn being all disgusting and chasing after Rachel, and Sam had stayed behind too for some reason. You were resting on one of the beds, trying to get some rest._

_ Sam walked into the room just then. He had been on the main level in the gift shop before, and hadn't realized that he wasn't the only one who stayed behind._

_ "Oh, uh, hey, Quinn," he said awkwardly._

_ "Hey." You smiled sadly at him, sitting up on the bed. Your fingers sought the promise ring that hung on the gold chain around your neck. You always kept it there, close to your heart, literally and figuratively. Even though Sam had broken up with you (and rightfully so,) you couldn't bear to give it back. However, you always wore it so it was hidden by your clothing. You weren't sure if he would actually ask for you to give it back, but you were scared Sam might see you with it and realize he forgot to ask you to give it back. Whenever you were nervous or scared or sad or just really emotional, you unconciously went for it. It gave you comfort, reminded you that there HAD been a time when Sam loved you, and wasn't repulsed by the sound of your voice. You still loved him, and you regretted cheating on him every day of your life._

_ "So, um, how come you stayed behind?" he asked, shaking you out of your thoughts._

_ "Um... I, uh, don't feel well. What about you?"_

_ "Same," he said, and then his eyes widened in surprise, and you realized too late that he had seen you with the ring around your neck._

_ "Oh... Sam..." however, his eyes weren't filled with anger, with outrage that you still had the nerve to keep his ring with you. In fact, he looked... happy? _

_ "You still have it," he murmured, stepping closer. He sat beside you on the bed._

_ "Yeah." You nodded. _

_ He grinned. You took a deep breath._

_ "Sam, I... I want you."_

_ He nodded. "I want you too." He slowly leaned forward and kissed you._

_ You gasped, but kissed him back. A little moan escaped from your lips as he wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you closer. His fingers tangled themselves in your long blond hair, and you placed your hands on his shoulders._

_ You felt so overwhelmed with emotion. After he had broken up with you, you thought you would never be able to experience this again... to experience the joyful feeling you felt when he kissed you, __when he touched you in that special loving way of his. But you were feeling it right now... and it was so much better than Finn's cold, unfeeling kisses and his constant attempts to cop a feel._

_ It felt like you guys had been kissing for a thousand years, and you felt like your brain was going to combust from lack of oxygen, but finally he pulled away, a confused look on his face. "I love you, Sam," you whispered. "I don't Finn, or Puck, or anyone. I want YOU."_

_ "Quinn..." he shook his head. "I don't feel it."_

_ "You don't feel what?" you asked desperately. "What's wrong? Did I forget to brush my teeth or something?" you quickly checked with your hand. Your breath smelled fine to you. _

_ "There was a time when I was in love with you," he whispered. "I gave you everything I had, Quinn, and you threw it away. You cheated on me."_

_ "And I'm SO sorry. I was just so confused and..."_

_ "Quinn, I will always care about you. You were my first love. I do love you, Quinn, I do. But I'm not IN love with you."_

_ "S-Sam! Please, we can talk this out..."_

_ "There's nothing to talk about. Those sparks I felt when we used to make out in my tree house? I don't feel it anymore. Look, don't tell anyone this, because it's a secret, but me and Mercedes are going out."_

_ "What?" you gasped, your heart dropping into your stomach. You jumped up._

_ "Quinn..."_

_ "Save it for someone who cares, Evans," you snapped, running into the bathroom and locking the door. You collapsed to the freezing tile, a sobbing mess._

As much as you had tried to block that painful memory, you still remembered it, and suddenly it was all clear. Now you remembered how you had gotten to this point... it was all because of that painful afternoon with Sam Evans.  
You missed the old Quinn, pretty, blond, perfect, unbroken. And you knew the only way to get back to your old self...

It was by winning him back again.

_**Love it? Hate it? Review it? Review it and tell me what you think, please! This will obviously be a multi-chaptered story.**_


	2. Chapter 2

You walked down the hallway, looking around at people. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, but you acted like you didn't care and you were too good for them. You WERE too good for them. Screw what they thought.

You saw Sam at his locker, Mercedes leaning up against the locker beside his, the two of them talking. You feel like throwing up. Apparently their secret relationship wasn't so secret anymore.

Sam looked up from his locker. When he saw you, his eyes widened, first in shock, then in disappointment. "What's wrong?" Mercedes asked in confusion, seeing the locker in his eye.

"T-turn around," he stuttered.

Mercedes turned and looked at you. "Seems Little Miss Perfect with the white girl ass isn't so perfect anymore," she said scathingly.

"Mercedes...! She's right there. That isn't nice."

"Like I freaking care." You felt Sam checking you out, eyeing you in your tight black leather jacket and skirt, and that hurt you even more. Now, you weren't Quinn, the perfect girl he had fallen in love with, the one who he had understood, who he had given everything to. You were just another slut to him, the one he only looked at so he could appreciatively check out, nothing more.

You walked down the hallway, pretending you couldn't see or hear them. Maybe one day Sam would come crawling back to you and you could push him away.

You headed outside to skip class, taking a seat in the bleachers. You took out a cigarette, lighting it and beginning to puff on it.

The Cheerios had been excused from class to work on their routines for Sectionals. You watched as Brittany and another girl threw Santana into the air. Santana giggled, doing a flip in the air before falling back down into Brittany's embrace, practice skirt riding up her hips, ponytail bouncing behind her. You remembered when you had been that girl, the girl everyone respected and admired, the Queen of the Universe. You had spent hours perfecting your cheerleading routines, every routine revolving around you, since you WERE captain and the most hot and talented on the squad. You used to be perfect, whole, unbroken... now you were anything BUT those things.

You didn't realize that you weren't alone until he spoke. "Why'd you do it?"

You looked up in shock. He was sitting behind you. "Where's that ugly ass girlfriend of yours?" you snapped.

"She's not ugly, Quinn."

"Says you."

"And I told her I'd see her in class."

You rolled your eyes. "Why'd you do it?" he asked, looking at you sadly.

"Why do you care about me?" you asked, and instantly hated yourself when your voice cracked. You refused to be weak in front of this boy who hurt you so badly. Even after he hurt you that painful afternoon, you never let him see you vulnerable. You never let anyone see how much their words affected you. You wore a hard shell, a mask, so you could protect yourself.

"I do, Quinn. You were my first love. I'll always care about you."

"Just go away, Sam."

Sam still looked sad. "But..."

"GO!" you shouted, the tears beginning to pour down your face.

"Fine." He stood up and walked away.

_**Love it? Hate it? Review it? Review it and tell me what you think, please!**_


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